Saturday, September 5, 2009

Is there a Master’s of Science in Diapers?

When I was in graduate school, I hated my evenings home. My evenings home were filled with guilt…"I should be writing that paper, reading that chapter, working on that project, trying to figure out what the heck this class is about…what school do I go to again?" I carefully (hah!) became pregnant right before I graduated. I also spent my most uncomfortable months fighting nausea while also taking the HARDEST CLASS OF MY ENTIRE CURRICULUM and also working 20 hours of overtime a week. But, I'm not bitter. Anyhow, when I graduated I wanted to celebrate with champagne; instead, I went on a trip back to my roots with my husband and little one snuggled up in my belly. Really though, I wanted to cheer and dance and sing and just not think about anything for, oh, four million-trillion years. What a relief.

Upon returning from our whirlwind tour of Montana, Yellowstone Park, and Grand Teton National Park, we settled into the reality that, yes, we were going to become parents; thus, we may want to turn the barren and purple room left by the previous owners into something a little more suitable for a 0-yr-old. We started looking at baby gear and trying to figure out what all we needed. Holy cow. If you are even thinking about traipsing into Babies R Us any time before the baby is born, lord help you. It will beat you up and spit you out like a guy who runs a deli in New York (if you have never experienced a real New York Deli in…New York…then you may not know what I'm talking about).

Escaping from the world of playards (not PLAYPENS…WHAT KIND OF PARENT DO YOU THINK WE ARE? We are not LOCKING UP OUR INFANT like some common criminal), diaper wipe warmers, cribs, and (please, help me) NURSERY THEMES (ugh), we went to REI. You know, that warm and friendly place that has gear for EVERY WEATHER CONDITION POSSIBLE, including those days when it's cold and rainy but you are hot and sweaty and need to stay warm but need to let the hot out? No? You aren't familiar with that weather pattern? Well, then you will not understand why the first piece of baby equipment we ever bought was this:

But, I digress.

Back to my story. So, we got all prepared for our little jewel. We argued over names (and those of you who know me even slightly well, will recognize the name Kalina). Then, we were ready. Then, we waited. I had SO MUCH FREE TIME TO WAIT. Then the baby was born and I went on maternity leave. You know, someone once spoke to me about maternity leave as though it was some sort of extra-long vacation. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahhh, innocence. Now, more than 11 months later, I am here thinking about HOW EASY I HAD IT in graduate school. What was I complaining about again? There is a constant set of sippy cups that need cleaned, a high chair to be scrubbed, toys to be picked up, laundry to be done, and don't get me started on the diaper genie (and its outhouse effect).

Of course, hearing Miss Kyra babble in her crib in the morning is like getting a gazillion graduate degrees over and over again. So, I guess this is still better than being back in graduate school.